Self sabotage: any pattern of living or behavior that prevents you from achieving a desired, goal, outcome or result.
Why is that we can be our own worst enemy? We more than anyone else can stand in the way of our own long term success because we lack the ability to see our own weaknesses. Most of our weaknesses have formed in the way we think or believe over the course of our lives. It could have begun early on in life, as people who were meant to care for us, shaped us with negative words, concepts or patterns of living. I've spoken with countless people who have shared their childhood stories of how their parents or others in authority over them, basically cursed them by telling them things like-"you will never amount to anything," "you're stupid," "you can't do anything right," "stop all that crying, you're a cry baby" etc....Those words when internalized, were seeds that eventually birthed negative patterns and cycles of thinking and living that were destructive.
These are not impossible barriers to overcome, because all things are possible with God, but we must identify what these barriers are and use God's Word to renew our minds, replacing old mindsets, while implementing new ways of thinking and believing.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 NIV
If we want to become people of destiny who make a difference in our family generational lines and for the sake of the generations after us, then we must be people who refuse to allow patterns and cycles of sabotage to continue in our lives. We must not view our destiny as only affecting us, we must remember that God thinks generationally and we must too. We must serve God by serving the destiny he placed on our lives. We do this by identifying the ways we have cooperated with the destiny killing spirit of self-sabotage.
This is July 4th week-the week we celebrate our freedom and independence as a nation. But this can also be the week that you celebrate your freedom and independence from all the ways self-sabotage has held you and your generations captive.
Some of the worst thieves and robbers of destiny is not others or even the devil, but we ourselves. Fears of failure or feelings of ineptness, attitudes and words of defeatism, excuse making, blaming others, laziness, procrastination, unhealed wounds, lack of perseverance, and pride, are all ways we can sabotage our own vision, goals and dreams.
The bible says to write the vision down and make it plain, so that even if you are running you can read it.
I absolutely believe in casting vision and making plans for our future, it is essential- but if you haven't been honest enough to see your weaknesses or ask others what those weaknesses are, then you are setting yourself up for more failure. We must be honest enough to do some self evaluating.
Name your known weaknesses and own them
Ask Holy Spirit to reveal what is hidden
Ask those you trust who know you best to be honest about what they have identified in you as a weakness
In just three very easy steps, you could be well on your way to fulfilling some of those goals that have seemed unattainable. In her book "Sustaining the Vision Workbook"- Apostle, Dr. Taquetta Baker names multiple strongholds that operate under self sabotage that can give you insight into answering question 1. But before we list those strongholds- let's define what a stronghold is.
Stronghold: a place that has been fortified so as to protect it against attack; a place where a particular cause or belief is strongly defended or upheld; a fortified place
Fortified: strengthened or protected.
So a stronghold is any place or way we have strengthened a held belief by defending it against an attack.
This is a powerful revelation because when we have unidentified stronghold's, we perpetuate the issues or cycles because we are defending a strong belief that is most likely rooted in a lie.
As you identify strongholds in your life, pay attention to anything or any where, you are strongly defending something or someone.
The Apostle Paul speaks of strongholds here:
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 NIV
Self sabotage is rooted in strongholds of disobedience and we must be willing, active and ready to be obey however God leads us into healing and deliverance.
Many of these strongholds are rooted in patterns of thinking and believing, and certain situations, environments and even people can trigger these strongholds to come alive in us, especially if they helped to create the stronghold.
Excerpts from the book "Sustaining the Vision, Make it Plain Workbook"
Strongholds linked to self sabotage:
perfectionism-want everything a certain way or abort everything as if it wasn't good or beneficial
broken identity-operating through a wounded spirit, false loyalties or false perceptions; wounds dictate, weaken, hinder and contaminate destiny and it's vision
blame projectors-operates through a wounded spirit; blames others for their mistakes or lack of progress; takes no responsibility for the changes and potential to change that is needed in their own lives, yet claims to desire destiny, govern a vision or lead others.
fear mentality- fear of the unknown, doubt, unbelief, timid with stepping out in faith and being obedient in what God directs you to do; constant worry and suspicion, pessimism, expecting negative things to occur; unable to accept reassurance from people and God, blocked by fear and the ability to be encouraged
control issues- being their own god-needing to control everything
false reality-living from a delusional or worldly loyalty/perception rather than from God's truth and reality
resentful-difficult time forgiving or letting go of the past; cannot embrace success or the potential of the future
sluggard -lazy, constantly making excuses for a lack of progress, slow to move and be obedient as there is a presumption that an easier plan or route will manifest, or that it will just happen without work; sleeping during seasons where working and advancing the vision is essential
mental instability-addicted to drama, confusion, chaos; stuck in past trauma therefore not able to progress, work or advance the mission
entitlement- thinking people, someone specific or the world owes you something, especially if you've had challenging experiences; overstepping boundaries by expecting people and life to hand you something rather than working for it
disobedient- not doing as God leads, then justifying disobedience, thinking grace covers it; implements own standards and twists God's word to meet a need
rejecters-rejects self, God, the vision, and the people God gives them, while constantly sabotaging their destiny and entrepreneurial vision
insecurities-perceptions and behaviors of inadequacy, inaptness, unworthiness, low self-esteem, self defeat, fear of speaking up, fear of failure, need for man's approval and validation, lack of temperance, plaguing destiny and the vision
pride-haughtiness, stubbornness, self-idolatry, glory telling, lust for fame, lust for platform, lust for position, lust for power that hinders destiny and vision
perversion-adultery, fornication, inordinate affections, lusts, sexual appetites, worldly desires and addictions that sabotage destiny and vision
procrastinators-talks a good game, but does not follow through with goals; are not accountable to themselves, destiny, destiny partners, the vision, God, or those they are called to; time wasters, easily distracted, lazy, slothful, making excuses for laziness, delaying destiny by delaying working consistently on goals
ACCOUNTABILITY
One of the biggest ways we self sabotage is through a lack of accountability. We must allow others to help us in our weak areas. We must trust them to show us what we do not see. We all have blind spots and those blind spots can hurt us repeatedly if we don't allow others to speak to them. Another way we self sabotage is in negative self talk. Slow down and start paying attention to what you are thinking and what you are saying. If you are constantly making excuses, and blaming others or talking negatively about yourself, then you have identified some of your stumbling blocks. If you are a person that likes routine and you don't handle change well, then you must identify this as a way your are sabotaging your future. If you are unteachable and refuse to listen to counsel then you must see that as stronghold of pride and unwillingness to take direction. Successful people take direction well and view it as building blocks and stepping stones for their development and potential- not criticism. Successful people also adapt and handle change well; so if you desire to complete tasks, and find yourself running into walls, then you must find ways to be more adaptable in your environment.
Finding ways to be adaptable in changing atmospheres and personal issues, like physical ailments or bouts of sickness without making excuses as to why can't complete our plans for the day, must be dealt with to experience a lifestyle of breakthrough and deliverance. Setting daily goals and completing them is key to overturning patterns of self-sabotage. It's one thing to have the flu and need to rest, but it's another thing to allow something small to dictate whether or not you complete your goals for the day.
PERFECTIONISM
Perfectionism is a killer of destiny and will thwart a vision, fast and sure. We must make sure that as Kingdom heirs, that we rest in God's strength and not our own. We must not place demands on ourselves that are impossible to complete or walk out. We must be willing to allow God each day to process us according to his standards and ways and not our own-we can't dictate how God processes us. We must strive to do his will while resting in his ability to complete in us all he desires. Allowing God to unfold his plan while making adjustments in ours is a sign of growth and maturity. Perfectionism gets in the way of that growth as it will cause us to take on unnecessary burdens and false responsibilities that delay our future goals and vision.
Do you find yourself stopping and starting things often? Then you may have identified a pattern of perfectionism. Not completing tasks are a sure sign that you have a hard time committing to your vision and goals, because it isn't perfect yet.
TIME WASTERS
Are you a time waster? Even though you get up early do you find you start late in the day achieving your goals and stay up late at night doing useless things? Do you find it hard to commit to a plan or do you not properly plan to begin with? Do you find yourself shopping online at your favorite store or scrolling through social media instead of stewarding your goals or vision?
I plan my week. I put certain aspects of my vision in each week on certain days, leaving time for my covenant relationships and normal everyday activities. I can't say I have been 100% successful but I would easily say I have a achieved a 90% success rate. I strive to be more diligent in preparation, accountability and excellence (not perfection) without compromising what matters most. I do this by making certain aspects of my vision a priority and I do not deviate. I pay close attention to the workings of my soul on a daily basis-because if you do not govern your mind, will and emotions, they will govern you. You cannot know yourself by yourself- you must allow others the opportunity to point things out to you, then take their constructive criticisms to heart for further prayer and self inspection.
A lot of what was covered today has taken root over a period of time with most people and will not be fixed in a day. But identifying strongholds of self sabotage and taking time to seek out help or deliverance is a good place to start. I encourage you to purchase Dr. Baker's book, as it will help you steward the plans you so desire to see accomplished. Click on the link below to purchase the book on her online store under- Destiny Visionary Products.
Blessings to you all-
Dana